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February 18, 2006
Musician Jokes
Here's a few musician jokes to cast off our "Musical Funnies" Category (graffik pending - honest). If I've left anyone out or if you have a musical joke to put out there, lemme kno: weblog@themusicalrevolution.com
A drummer/percussionist walks into a library and says: "Hi I'll have a burger,fries, and a large coke." The librarian responds: Sshhhh....do you know where you are? This is a library!" The drummer, sheepishly, and in a whisper says: "Sorry....I'll have a burger, fries and a large coke."
One night at a gig the band leader yells at the bass guitar player "Your out of tune! Fix it!" The bass player pulls on all of the strings and says "The tension is the same on all of the strings...it must be in tune." and the guitar player yells at him "You idiot. The pegs have to be all lined up!"
Q: What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless ..
Q: How do you know when there's a singer at your door?
A: Can't find the key- doesn't know when to come in!
Q: What do you have when a keyboard player is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: How do you get a DJ off of your front porch?
A:Pay for the pizza.
Q: How many horn players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but they'll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks.
String players' motto: "It's better to be sharp than out of tune."
Q: What's the difference between a conductor and a sack of fertilizer?
A: The sack.
For more free musician jokes check out: Notation Machine
Posted by i220 at February 18, 2006 08:16 AM
Comments
great jokes, i love em
angel
Posted by: angel at February 18, 2006 09:54 AM
Nonexistenthetero dropt this joke on Saddlecreek: http://www.saddle-creek.com/webboard/viewtopic.php?t=71718
It killed me - czech it:
Madonna, Britney and Christina
Due to a mixup on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time for the ceremony.
Once up in the air, Madonna pulls out a $1000 bill and says, "I'm going to throw this $1000 bill out the window and make someone down below very happy."
Not to be outdone, Britney ripped a $1000 bill in half and threw it out the window, saying, "Look, I just made two people really happy."
Not even noticing Britney's stupid move, Christina bragged, "Look, I'm going to throw 1000 $1 bills and make a lot more people a little happier."
At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says, "I think I'll throw all three of you out of this plane and make 250 million people happy."
LOL!!
Big Love.
Especially to Angel ;)
Posted by: DivaJoke at February 19, 2006 01:57 PM
hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!
I especially liked the ones about the drummers.
I'll try and get you some more!
peas and carrots!
Posted by: Boutie at February 20, 2006 01:59 PM
i love it, i love it, i love it, i can't stand diva's and especially those three. thanks for the laugh of the day and making my day.
angel
Posted by: angel at February 22, 2006 04:15 PM
this isn't a musician joke, but it's sayings by one of the coolest dudes ever:
George Carlin sayings
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
-- George Carlin
From the naked mind of:
GEORGE CARLIN
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
Posted by: angel at March 6, 2006 05:31 PM
have a quiz for anyone that wants to take it:
HERE'S A ROCK AND ROLL QUIZ I MADE UP, LET'S SEE WHO REMEMBERS ALL OF THIS FROM THE PAST:
l. what bands was eric clapton in during the 60's and 70's?
2. who was the first drummer of the beatles? (not ringo starr)
3. who were the reporters that cracked "watergate" during the nixon administration?
4. what was the drummer's name that overdosed in the group 'THE WHO'?
5. who is the RED ROCKER?
6. who did RAY CHARLES want to sing like in the beginning of his career in the early 50's?
7. what color was elvis presley's hair before he started to dye it black?
8. when did john lennon decide to be a house husband and put his career on hold?
9. who wrote 'I AIN'T NO SENATOR'S SON' or 'FORTUNATE SON'?
10. what kind of work did norma jean baker (marilyn monroe) do during world war II?
ll. how did stevie ray vaughn die?
12. how did jim morrison, janis joplin and jimi hendrix die and in what year?
Posted by: angel at March 17, 2006 09:28 AM